20 Hard Musical Truths—19 of which are true. (The Roots, Blues, & Rock n’ Roll Edition)

Hard Musical Truths

Go ‘head. You figure out which one’s the lie.

  1. Americana as a genre has never really bettered The Basement Tapes.
  2. Car Wheels On A Gravel Road notwithstanding, Lucinda Williams can’t actually write, sing, or play her way out of a box.
  3. The value of The Old Crow Medicine Show began and ended with Wagon Wheel.
  4. In John Bonham, we have the starkest example of a great rock n’ roll drummer in a terrible rock n’ roll band, and in Max Weinberg, we have the starkest example of a terrible rock n’ roll drummer in a great rock n’ roll band.
  5. There are no more than 10 truly great Beatles songs.
  6. The TajMo album is a piece of shit.
  7. Had he lived out the full measure of a musical life, Buddy Holly would have had more of an impact than Jimi Hendrix, had he done the same.
  8. Jeff Buckley’s Hallelulah is better.
  9. Leonard Cohen’s Dance Me To The End Of Love is the only acceptable instance of rhyming “love” with “dove.”
  10. The Velvet Underground’s debut album sounds like a bunch of low-rent Dylan outtakes.
  11. Tom Waits can’t play the blues.
  12. The Beach Boys are unnecessary.
  13. Carole King’s Tapestry is not a great record. It’s not even a good record.
  14. Hellhound on my Trail is a straight-up Skip James rip.
  15. Plant, Page & co. are thieves and criminals, and should be stripped of most of their earnings.
  16. The only good “tribute” albums are made by Hal Wilner.
  17. For every 1 good “Chicago Blues” artist, there are 3 good “Country Blues” artists.
  18. Hank Williams said it, I believe it, and that settles it.
  19. Eminem is a better lyricist than 98.5% of all “singer-songwriters.”
  20. This Land Is Your Land should be our national anthem.

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